


Retail Therapy

by Alisanne



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-05-01
Packaged: 2019-04-30 12:32:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14497080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alisanne/pseuds/Alisanne
Summary: A/N:Written for HD_Fluff"'s prompt # 144:  WEASLEYS’ WIZARD WHEEZES.Beta(s):Sevfan and Emynn.Disclaimer:The characters contained herein are not mine. No money is being made from this fiction, which is presented for entertainment purposes only.





	Retail Therapy

**Author's Note:**

> **A/N:** Written for HD_Fluff"'s prompt # 144: WEASLEYS’ WIZARD WHEEZES.
> 
> **Beta(s):** Sevfan and Emynn.
> 
> **Disclaimer:** The characters contained herein are not mine. No money is being made from this fiction, which is presented for entertainment purposes only.

~

Retail Therapy

~

“I hate this place,” mutters Draco as he follows Pansy into Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes. “It’s loud and obnoxious and there’s never anything good—”

“Shut up, Draco,” Pansy says absently, looking around. “We’re on a mission.” 

“We are?” Draco huffs. “What kind of mission? Anything they have you can get—”

“Nowhere else I’m afraid. We carry an exclusive line of joke and other useful items.” George Weasley, dressed in an eye-watering combination of clashing colours and patterns, walks up behind them. “What can I help you locate?” 

Pansy turns, smiling flirtatiously up at him. “My nephew adores your Whizz-bangs boxes, and his birthday is coming up, so I thought I’d get him one.” 

Draco raises an eyebrow. “You have a nephew?” 

“Hush, Draco.” Pansy throws a glare at him. “Of course I do.” Then, smiling up at Weasley once again, she tucks her hand in the crook of his arm. “While we look at the Whizz-bangs, perhaps you can tell me who put together your outfit. It’s smashing.” 

Rolling his eyes, Draco watches them go. Clearly, Pansy is shopping for more than just gifts for imaginary relatives. 

Strolling around the store, he watches the kids exclaiming over the toys and joke products. A part of him admires the entrepreneurship. It can’t have been easy to build this shop up from scratch. 

Rumour has it Potter spends a lot of time there, too. Not that that has any bearing on why Draco agreed to accompany Pansy to the shop. It’s been a while since he’s seen Potter; the last time had been at the Order of Merlin ceremony his mother insisted he attend. Potter had looked exceptionally fit, with broad shoulders, trim waist, and an arse made for…

Turning the corner, Draco feels the tingle of wards and, puzzled, he stops. The regular shop is behind him but it’s behind a sheer, transparent shield. As he watches, he sees a kid walk up to the door and pass right by as if there’s no opening. 

“Huh.” Lips pursed, Draco looks around the shelves, blinking as he scans the products. “Adult Patented Daydream Charms? Erotic Edible Dark Marks? Salazar!” 

“Can I help—? Malfoy?” 

Draco spins, gaping as he sees Potter standing there. “Potter? What are you doing here?”

Potter raises an eyebrow. “I could ask you the same. And I happen to work here.” 

“You what?” Draco shakes his head. “I read in the paper you’re an Auror.” He frowns as a look of surprise crosses Potter’s face. “Not that I’m following your career or anything.” 

“Right,” Potter says, a small smile curving his mouth. “Well, I _am_ an Auror, but I’m also part owner in this place, so I pitch in here when it’s busy and I’m not at the Ministry. Now, is there something specific you’re searching for in our adult section?” 

“Adult section?” Draco shakes his head. “I didn’t realise…I somehow stumbled in here while waiting for Pansy and—”

Potter hums. “Actually, the door won’t let anyone in unless they’re specifically looking for adult products.” He smiles. “Were you contemplating something…adult?”

“No. I was thinking about—” Fuck, he’d been thinking about Potter and his fine arse. Coughing, Draco turns and looks at the shimmering entrance. “It felt like an age barrier, too.” 

“Yes. Well spotted,” says Potter. “It’s to keep the kids out.” Clearing his throat, he continues, “Since you’re here, would you like a tour?” 

It would be rude to refuse. Draco inclines his head. “Why not?” 

Potter smiles a practiced, profession smile. “Excellent. Follow me.” 

As Potter points out various items, Draco sneaks looks at him. He looks even better up close than he had at the Order of Merlin ceremony, and Draco finds his mind wandering. Just how flexible would Potter be in bed, he wonders. Is his cock nice and fat as rumour suggests?

A box flies off the shelf and hits Draco in the head. “Ow!” 

Potter blinks. “What the—?” Picking up the box, he reads it, an eyebrow going up. 

“Salazar, Potter! Do your products usually attack customers?” Draco huffs, rubbing the sore spot on his head.

Potter hums. “Not usually, no.” 

“What the hell was it?” 

“Nothing important.” Potter tries to hide the item. “Let’s go and look at the—”

“Give me that,” snaps Draco, grabbing the box from Potter’s fingers. Staring down at it, he blinks. “Adjustable Dildo?”

“It takes on any proportions you wish for.” Potter clears his throat. “Particularly those of anyone you may fancy.” 

Draco studies the packaging. “How does it know what or whose—” he coughs, “—bits I may fancy?”

“That information’s proprietary.” Potter’s professional smile returns. “Are you interested in this item? If so, I can send it to the counter and we can continue the tour.” 

“Actually, it’s the perfect gift for a…friend of mine,” says Draco, avoiding Potter’s eyes. “My…friend will love it.” 

“Right.” Waving his hand, Potter sends the dildo zooming over to the counter. “Over here we have our Luscious Love Mannequins. For those evenings you don’t have company.” 

Draco huffs. “I’ll have you know I don’t lack for company, Potter!” 

“I wasn’t suggesting you did.” Potter looks him up and down, his gaze frankly admiring. “We can certainly skip that section if you prefer.” 

“No, it’s fine.” Draco eyes the mannequins. “Again, this may provide an opportunity to purchase a gift or two for…friends.” 

“Of course.” Another wave of Potter’s hand brings several large boxes down onto the ground. “These are the samples so people can see what the mannequins look like.” Stepping forward, Potter opens one, and gestures Draco forward. “This is Alexa.” 

Draco snorts. “And what use would I…I mean my friends have for her? Don’t you have any male love mannequins?” 

“Absolutely.” Levitating a few of the boxes back into the shelves, Potter floats a few more down. “Any preferences? Do you…I mean your _friends_ like blonds, brunets, redheads?” 

Draco purses his lips. “Most of my friends have a bit of a preference for brunets.”

“Right.” Potter brings down a few more boxes and opens the first one. “This one is called Steve.” 

‘Steve’ turns out to be an overly-muscled specimen with a beard, and although it’s conventionally attractive, Draco shakes his head. “No.” 

Potter then proceeds to bring out ‘James’, who’s also dark and muscular. 

“Do you have anything less muscular?” asks Draco, grimacing. 

Potter then produces ‘Peter’, which is a lithe, athletic model. Again, conventionally attractive but not quite what Draco’s looking for.

“Maybe if you describe what your friend finds attractive, I can narrow the search,” suggests Potter. 

Draco hums. “All right. He’s looking for a mannequin with dark hair, not too tall but tall enough, strong thighs, muscled arms, a nice arse, the hair doesn’t need to be too neat, perhaps a bit tousled—”

Potter raises an eyebrow. “You know who this sounds like, don’t you, Malfoy?” 

“This was just a general description, Potter. It’s not meant to be a real person.” Draco smirks. “Although, if you know of someone who fits that description, please do send him my way.” 

“Don’t you mean _your friend’s_ way?” 

Draco snorts. “No, I mean _my_ way.” 

“Any eye colour preferences?” Potter asks, moving closer, intent clear in his eyes. “How do you feel about green eyes, for example?” 

“Hate them,” Draco murmurs, shifting to face Potter squarely. “They’re ugly.” 

“Shame.” Potter starts to move away, but Draco reaches out, dragging him close again. 

“I think I can overlook them, though,” continues Draco as Potter lets himself be manoeuvred into position. “As long as everything else is acceptable.” 

“That’s generous of you—” Potter moans into the kiss but adjusts quickly, pressing Draco against the wall as they thoroughly explore each other’s mouths. 

When Draco begins undoing Potter’s buttons, Potter reciprocates, and soon they’re both shirtless and Potter’s hand is inside Draco’s trousers, and Draco’s hand is cupping Potter’s bare arse and they’re rocking together and Potter’s thumb is swiping the head of Draco’s cock as he strokes it, and Draco is coming and Potter is holding him as he shudders. 

Raising his head, Draco looks into Potter’s eyes. “Did you—?”

Potter shook his head. “It’s okay. I can take care of it later.” 

“Fuck that,” growls Draco, and he drops to his knees, smirking as he hears Potter moan over his head. It’s the work of a few seconds to undo Potter’s flies, and then it’s Potter shaking and crying out, Potter’s fingers clenching in Draco’s hair, Potter’s hips fucking Draco’s mouth, and Potter’s cock spilling down Draco’s throat. 

Licking his lips, Draco climbs to his feet and leans in, kissing Potter, sharing his own taste with him. 

Potter hums when Draco pulls back for air. “Does this mean you _don’t_ want a Luscious Love Mannequin?” 

Draco smirks. “Do you think I’ll need one?” 

Potter shakes his head. “No, no I do not.” 

By the time the return to the regular shop, Pansy is there waiting. She’s still flirting with Weasley, who has the shell-shocked look in his eyes that all Pansy’s boyfriends tend to have. 

Glancing at Potter, Draco smiles. Although, to be fair, he and Potter are probably wearing similar expressions. 

“How was your shopping?” he asks her once she’s said goodbye to Weasley. 

“It was quite successful.” She smirks. “How did you do? Still hate this place?” 

Draco glances back over his shoulder at Potter, who’s staring at Draco’s arse, a hungry look on his face. Inside Draco’s pocket, the Adjustable Dildo Potter had gifted him shifts. Draco hums. “I’m beginning to see its appeal.” 

~


End file.
